13 Lessons Collected By 31

It’s pisces season! I wrote this list to celebrate making it to #DirtyWon. I usually celebrate my birthday in a solitary manner but since blogging I realize sharing is caring so… I like to reflect every year on things I would have told my younger self had I known then, what I know now. Some free game for my daughter, should she choose to take heed. (And I hear that lists are popular.) So, 13 lessons I’ve learned in the last 31 years —


1. Expecting people not to judge is like asking people not to breathe. You just hope to find people that don’t do either too loudly.

2. Unless someone CARES to understand whatever your explaining… Shut-up because no one is listening. It’s 2019. You ain’t about to surprise anyone with information they never wanted.

3. Whether you believe in yourself or not is irrelevant at some point. You don’t always have to believe. Plan. Work. Repeat. You will believe eventually.

4. On the tribe — Don’t require your tribe to understand everything about you. Teach them to love and support you, then learn to do the same for them. Just because people can’t tackle every detail of your essence doesn’t mean they can’t nurture you or support you. Also, if you’re lonely, the internet is a powerful tool so learn to engage it. You don’t have to be alone.

5. Learn to live on nothing and still laugh. It makes a normal life above the struggle appear full of amenities. (Or just go hardcore camping with nothing from time to time. Lmao. Either or.)

6. Never regret consensual sex. Rather, learn what sharing your body means and understand its always yours. You belong to you first and foremost. Let you be enough. And if you can’t find any reasons to love yourself… Create some.

7. Talk to all the strangers. Let them think you’re crazy but learn from the people that share the planet with you. They’re the best lessons you will ever get. (Also, take self-defense seriously).

8. Never stop learning. Even when it doesn’t make cents. Trust your gut — Learn. It matters. You are never the smartest person in the room. Be at peace with it; hell, love it.

9. Be nice to yourself. Nicer than you are to the strangers or anyone else. Let yourself dance, laugh out loud, and be ashy af every now and then. Lol. It’s not that serious. I promise.

10. Read all the books. Build computers. Play video games. Primp in the mirror. Design fashion. Be nervous. Be afraid. Be petty. Be quiet. Fuck it up. Fix it. Whatever. But go ahead and step-up and try to lead. I think it’s the only way to truly learn who to follow and how.

11. On romance — Don’t let marriage make you. You and your partner make the marriage. Don’t put your spouse and kids first. Put yourself first because God is in You. In the same vein, don’t let being single make you. Somebody is going to love the way your face lights up while living a life of passionate self-love. Biggest thing on romance though — Don’t take advice from unlicensed strangers. Lmfao. Do you.

12. There are way too many health fads, crazes, and products. Eat well. Try to eat communally and move your body frequently. Turn the music up real loud and cook, even if it is alone. The dishes are always more poetic when blasting Bach or Tupac. Set the table sometimes. Laugh inbetween bites, pass bowls, and serve people you love when possible. Look in the mirror, then keep it pushing. There is way too much fun to be had being alive.

13. Play hard. Hard aaaafffff. Sweat hard. Make people stare at you and wonder why you are acting like that. Because those are the best days. Oh, and life is way too short to be sober all the time. So pour a little something, light it up, or enter meditative peace but be grateful for the moments before they end. Because, they always end, that’s the nature of moments.


I am in no way qualified to give advice. These are things I’ve learned traveling, working, parenting, spousing, and challenging myself to be a better person. I think that all things are fluid and this list could change as the years go by. Lessons come and go in importance. I’m absolutely interested to hear what lessons you have gathered that influence you?

Shout to my fellow Pisceans!


Written & Edited BY W.D. Herstun

curated by w.d. herstun
Creative Commons on the Imagery!

Pisces – Horoscope from ‘The book of birth of Iskandar” Credit: Wellcome Library, London. Wellcome Images images@wellcome.ac.uk http://wellcomeimages.org Pisces – the fishes, detail from the Horoscope from ‘The book of birth of Iskandar” c.1411 The book of the birth of Iskandar, {European foliation, L to R}. Published: – Copyrighted work available under Creative Commons Attribution only licence CC BY 4.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Published by W.D. Herstun

Editor-in-Chief. Curator. Dreamer. I want to bring people together, one story at a time. Sometimes, we all just need a little perspective. The arts & humanities can help us regain humanity and change the world. Believe that. Achieve that. #LetsGrow

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