A poem releasing my resentment and my anger towards both my parents, but primarily my mother! A poem of forgiveness so that I can continue to elevate on my journey and in my truth.
From the beginning,
my childhood was cut short…
Innocence stripped away young,
like leaves burning on a tree,
It was, as if, I never got the chance to be care-free, always caring…
And as I cycled through life living to see another day —
I failed to appreciate life as it was and live for today…
Burdened by chain-like restrictions —
Restricting me from reaching my full capacity and forcing me to comply
See, I used to think, what’s wrong with me?
Broken before I can even think logically —
Fragmented pieces of reality are forged because I was punished for challenging authority.
My subconscious screamed for a release —
Yet, it was being wired to manifest negativity —
so I began to battle the voices internally, the voices that sounded like the one who brought me in this world…
Because she can take me out the same way —
If I allow my mind to be under her captivity.
I mean, I was created to follow orders with a slave-like mentality…
No questions asked.
yet yearning for all the hypothetical whimsicalities.
a mental illness was inevitable, raised to follow blind…
closing my eyes, but still being able to see,
Going against all that I was destined to be —
I tried to fall in line to the bureaucracy.
My mother tried to torment me, prohibit me, break me —
Passing down the agenda of generational poverty because she didn’t know any better, see…
I resented her for a long time —
Not having control of my own destiny.
Living for her or to prove that I was worthy
Never worthy of my mother’s love unconditionally…
And my father —
Broke my heart before anyone else had the opportunity to experience it whole.
Causing me to seek anything that can fill that hole. —
Longing for his approval,
I wandered aimlessly.
All before I turned 18.
All before I got the opportunity to live life outside of their truth.
I had to unlearn and let go off of all the animosity….
but let go.
Because I am unable to regain my youth —
It was out of my control.
I release the hold they had on me, reclaiming the power that has been suppressed inside of me…
I release ‼️🙏🏾