Feel Fierce Visual Poetry

Release By Nessla1 feat Murjoni

April 18, 2019

A poem releasing my resentment and my anger towards both my parents, but primarily my mother! A poem of forgiveness so that I can continue to elevate on my journey and in my truth.

From the beginning,

my childhood was cut short…

Innocence stripped away young,

like leaves burning on a tree,

It was, as if, I never got the chance to be care-free, always caring…

never free.

And as I cycled through life living to see another day —

I failed to appreciate life as it was and live for today…

Burdened by chain-like restrictions —

Restricting me from reaching my full capacity and forcing me to comply to my massa

the one that birthed me.

See, I used to think, what’s wrong with me?

Broken before I can even think logically

Fragmented pieces of reality are forged because I was punished for challenging authority.

My subconscious screamed for a release —

Yet, it was being wired to manifest negativity —

so I began to battle the voices internally, the voices that sounded like the one who brought me in this world…

Because she can take me out the same way —

If I allow my mind to be under her captivity.

I mean, I was created to follow orders with a slave-like mentality…

No questions asked.

yet yearning for all the hypothetical whimsicalities.

I mean…

a mental illness was inevitable, raised to follow blind…

closing my eyes, but still being able to see,

Going against all that I was destined to be —

I tried to fall in line to the bureaucracy.

My mother tried to torment me, prohibit me, break me —

Passing down the agenda of generational poverty because she didn’t know any better, see…

I resented her for a long time —

Not having control of my own destiny.

Living for her or to prove that I was worthy

Never worthy of my mother’s love unconditionally…

And my father —

Broke my heart before anyone else had the opportunity to experience it whole.

Causing me to seek anything that can fill that hole. —

Longing for his approval,

seeking validation,

I wandered aimlessly.

All before I turned 18.

All before I got the opportunity to live life outside of their truth.

I had to unlearn and let go off of all the animosity….

Forgive…

Very slowly…

but let go.

Because I am unable to regain my youth —

It was out of my control.

I release the hold they had on me, reclaiming the power that has been suppressed inside of me…

I release ‼️🙏🏾

-Nessla1

Credits

Written By Nessla1. Edited By Herstun.

A site regular is returning with another round of amazing sculptures. Murjoni was featured in our Sculptor Spotlight last month and continues to blaze through the art scene in the D.C., Maryland, Virginia area, as well as around the globe.

Visit Her page

Follow Murjoni on Instagram and YouTube

Murjoni is literally my favorite sculptor in the same way that you might have a favorite musician or band. I feel incredibly blessed that she allows me to use her work to illustrate the words of poets and authors from around the world.

I chose her work for Nessla1’s poem because there is something about the medium of sculpture that touched me when reading about Nessla1 releasing the animosity against her parents. Like she was born of one shape and then had to remold herself from the outside in.

It is another #WCW on exclusively on 99.5 the Queendom with Herstun FM Readio.

Nessla1 is going to be with us every Wednesday evening writing about her journey of self-discovery and inspiring us to just believe that all things are possible.

She is also spearheading the movement against generational poverty. Make sure you check out her work and her social media.

Instagram + Facebook

My hope is that by sharing the many different perspectives we can come closer to understanding one another and respecting our differences.

#LetsGrow

curated by w.d. herstun
Can’t get enough of Nessla1? Check out her post introducing herself to the Herstun team!

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