Current~ish Family Feature For the Culture Identity

Back to School: Stop Name Shaming By ShesReelatable

September 1, 2019

BACK TO SCHOOL!!

And I am back. Like a Cadillac. You missed me? (Well, to whom it may concern, anyway.)

It’s been a minute but I got a minute so let me tell you what has been on my mind lately.

It is back to school time and while I don’t get to enjoy the benefits of a primary school aged child yet, I am still excited about back to school!

Back to School: Bugg enjoying the end of summer.
My Baby Bugg enjoying the end of summer.

I can finally go to the store in the middle of the day without being ambushed.

So many cute picture on Facebook and Instagram of little boys and girls with new dreams starting new schools.

However, as we start the new school year I would like to take the time to speak on a TIMELESS matter within the black community.

NAME SHAMING!

I’m not even talking literally this go-round but trust we’ll get there.

No. 

I’m talking directly about SOME African-American educators finding humor at poking at JazMaynes’ name as if you still didn’t read it off your roster as Jasmine.

As if this is the first unique spelling you’ve ever seen in your professional career.

Back to school

We trust our teachers with the social development and growth of our children almost 8 hours a day 5 days a week. The last thing these children need is someone shattering their individuality. A child between the ages of 5 and 19 has not even met themselves yet, all they know for sure relating to their identity is their name.

So, don’t shit on it.

Don’t purposely butcher it.

Do not change it to make it fit your ‘context’.

Try your best to not even chuckle at it.

Just don’t.

Back to school

I may be too personally invested in the matter but according to my social media accounts, the shit still hasn’t stopped since I was in elementary school.

So here we are.

Back to school again.

Y’all.

Let me go ahead and give you some real quick and ReeLateable guidance:

1. It’s NOT okay to call a child’s name and/or parent ghetto in front of the entire class.

2. It’s NOT okay to ignore the child who continuously corrects you on the pronunciation and or spelling of their names.

3. It’s NOT okay constantly ask can you call them “INSERT SOME BULLSHIT ASS NICKNAME” because “pronouncing it correctly is just too hard.”

4. It’s NOT okay to replace the more common/traditional spelling of a child’s name for your convenience

 FOR EXAMPLE

It’s Nik, not Nick.

It is Deon, not Deion.

It’s Alisha, not Alicia.

And It’s Chaliph, not Khalif

Basically, call these babies by their names correctly unless asked otherwise.

You’re in charge of shaping their minds for the next school year –

It’ll be a lot easier if you don’t crush their self-image in the meantime.

Thanks.

Just a broke, trying-to-make-it Mom.

I’ll see you next time I’m around the Herstun Writer.

Happy back to school everyone!

ShesReeLateable

#LetsGrow #LoveAlways

curated by w.d. herstun

Credits

Written By ShesReeLateable. Edited By W.D. Herstun.

Wildethoughts

I think we have a slight theme emerging from ShesReelateable. She is our go-to for shame. Her post really made me reflect on some conversations that I have had with some of my friends about shame. What is it and is it useful?
Brené Brown talks about shame as the fear of disconnection.
Jay Knew gave us a decent breakdown in his debut write-up, Somethin’ About Love.
In the black community, shame has been used as a tool and a weapon. We shame each other into doing whatever works best as a survival tactic for the group. Since ‘ghetto-ness’ has long plagued the ‘upper echelons’ of the black community, name-shaming has been a problem. Educated black folks sneer at names like Chaliph or JazMayne, wondering why parentals would put more on their children to bear.
ShesReeLateable (and serveral other writers on Herstun) has also taken the time to cover mom-shaming. How do we get moms to behave as a part of the group? To raise their children along socially acceptable guidelines and trends? We shame them of course.
I hope that ShesReeLateable’s message hits home for someone that has suffered from shame. Or maybe she will encourage an educator or aide to rethink laughing at a child’s name. Brené Brown is my source for trying to push the shame-scars down and embrace change. Things do change yall. It’s best if we just go along with it. Shame only serves to hurt people, it won’t stop the world from changing as it sees fit. #Wilde

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